There are so many types of relationships these days. This post will be focused on romantic relationships and some brief explanations of 11 aspects that make them healthy. Some of these things can be missing from a relationship or weaker than others and it would still work for a couple but it could put a strain between them. These aspects mainly relate to couples in exclusive connections.
This blog post will briefly explain:
*Not in any particular order of importance*
Love/Care for eachother
Love and caring for your partner goes hand in hand. Some people might disagree but you want to ask yourself two simple questions. 1. Do you really love your partner if you don’t care about them? and 2. Do you really care about your partner if you don’t love them?
Now, you can care about someone and not love them in a romantic way. This is not a discussion for that type of relationship.
This is a controversial aspect because when it comes to being in a relationship there are many scenarios where a partner is unfaithful and they try to express that they still love the person they are in a relationship with. Logically, can this be true?
If you love someone you tend to do things for them you wouldn’t normally do just to make them happy. You can go as far as to say, if someone is not happy with you and you love them you would let them go and not wish ill for their future.
There is also the dilemma of how people want/prefer to be loved. People know how to show love differently. The 5 love languages is something that you would want to look up just to have an idea.
Responsible
Responsibility is a big thing when it comes to being in a relationship. We always want to be responsible enough to carry out simple tasks or major tasks. Not everyone has this trait and it might take some time for people to understand what it means to be responsible.
As an example, if you both work and you live together there are bills to be paid. Are you both responsible enough to manage the money that you earn to pay bills, care for a child/children (if you have any) and save for emergencies and the future?
Can you handle all these things before you spend money on things you want instead of need.
You want to make sure you both are on the same page with these things.
Financial problems cause many arguments and separations
Commitment
Commitment means to be dedicated to something. Dedication takes a lot out of you if you lack the ability to stay true. Commitment requires that you aren’t the type of person to just “go with the wind”. Unless you go with your partner.
Two people that have the same values about how dedicated you want to be to each other will flourish.
For example, you both decide you want to be exclusive…no flirting or talking to anyone else. You commit to just your partner.
There are also people that are in open-relationship and that is their commitment. That is their decision.
In an exclusive relationship you have to be willing to sacrifice things that you used to do and that is okay. What you should not do is lose who you really are in the process. Unless who you really are is too toxic for a relationship
Respect
Respect should always be given, as much as it is received. It is important to respect your partner and also receive respect from your partner.
It is disrespectful for you or your partner to disregard each other’s values and beliefs.
Respect ties in with loyalty and I will explain why next. If any of you have narcasistic traits you would tend to be disrespectful. Rather than talk about all the things that are disrespectful I will list some ways on how to be respectful.
-Inform your partner (ask in some cases) about a life changing decision before you make it. That might affect their lives too.
-When in an argument, try to speak at your usual tone of voice and avoiding saying hurtful things
-listen to understand, not to respond
-Stay exclusive if that is your agreement
-Stay away from individuals that do not care about your relationship. If you entertain them you are being disrespectful
Loyalty
Loyalty and respect are related when it comes to a romantic relationship. This is about not doing things that would be disrespectful to your partner behind their backs. Would you say something about your partner behind their back that you won’t say to their face? That is not respectful and it fades any type of loyalty.
It is also disloyal to keep in contact with people that do not respect your relationship.
Stay loyal by not doing things that are disrespectful to them.
Honesty/Transparency
We all find it hard to be completely honest sometimes. It’s crazy the little things people would lie about or omit. People that do this often are hard to trust and that is why we should try to stay as honest and open with our partners as we can.
Tell them if something affects you. Keeping things from each other only brings trouble. No matter how much you try to hide it…most of the time the truth comes out.
Be willing to face consequences if you have been dishonest.
Intimacy
Intimacy in a romantic relationship can mean sharing who you really are with the person you are with. Expressing yourself in ways that you would never feel comfortable with anyone else. Sharing your deepest fears and being comforted by your partner. In this sense, being very personal.
It can also mean sexual openness. How much are you willing to do? and how compatible you are in the bedroom.
Communication
Communication is probably the number one aspect that makes a relationship work. If you don’t communicate how you feel about a situation, whether good or bad, how can you understand each other? How can you make decisions as a couple that would benefit or improve you both if you don’t communicate?
communication helps to keep a relationship stable. It is even more so vital when problems arise.
There are a few things you should do to make communication work effectively.
In no particular order I would recommend if you feel there is a problem you should;
-Identify the problem and it’s source.
-Make it known to your partner (make sure you are not coming off as aggressive)
-Let it all out and make sure you cry if you have to
-as a couple, hear each other out and listen to understand, not to respond as stated before.
-come up with a solution together (compromise if necessary…try your best to understand why this would help the situation)
-agree as a couple to get past the problem.
Lack of communication causes frustration, distrust and so much more.
Similar/Same Goals
Similar or same goals are pretty straight forward. But to dig a little deeper I want to explain that this is a part of intentions. Going into a relationship, do you see yourself with this person in the long run? Are they a part of your goals and dreams?
Will the relationship last after your goals are accomplished?
These questions all matter in regard to your intentions with your partner.
Make sure you are on the same page when it comes to long term and short term goals
Overall Compatibility
People often relate compatibility to zodiac signs. I’m not knocking their beliefs but you are compatible with a person, not a sign. Would you want to be with a person because their sign is “compatible” with yours but they have completely different values than you do?
It is tricky to base your relationship on that notion. You want to get to know someone and you will learn more about your partner years after you’ve been with them.
When a couple is compatible they enjoy each other’s company, can work through difficult problems together and still come out stronger in the end. To be compatible with someone is to have a relationship that doesn’t feel forced. To be so well meshed that it’s hard to break that bond.
Support
No one wants to feel alone while in a romantic relationship. Even if you’re not quite committed yet it feels great to know that someone is right next to you cheering you on in everything you do. Especially when you are going through something challenging, the support helps to know that you have someone to talk to.
Support can also relate to encouraging you to do things that you are great at but you don’t have the courage to venture into.
Example, if you or your partner wants to build a business but are too scared, the other person can help come up with strategies that can help start and become successful.
In conclusion, I just want to state that there is no “right” or “wrong” way for YOU to have YOUR relationships. People have different values and beliefs. What does make it better is knowing your partner’s views on many of these and attempting to compromise on the ones that are not so far fetched. People that are not happy in a romantic relationship usually find themselves lacking one or two of these aspects in themselves or their partner.
A lot of these aspects relate to each other and can form solid bonds when combined.
Please take 2 minutes to take our survey for a study on some aspects of romantic relationships.
FemConscious 
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